Are You Experienced?

I often fancy making my status posts on Facebook something unique and amusing so that my friends may be entertained by a moment of whimsy. Recently I made a post about an unusual life experience I have had; I once slept under a pool table while people were playing pool on it at 3:00 in the morning. This life event took place a long time ago at an Air Force base in Oklahoma on the return leg of a Boy Scout trip to New Mexico. I think that unusual experiences and adventures are the spice of life and are what make it interesting. This blog posting is dedicated to recalling some of my life’s adventures.

I have:

camped in the snow;

slept in a teepee (in the pouring rain) and in a yurt;

gone swimming in the Atlantic and Pacific oceans;

climbed to the summit of an extinct volcano (from inside the crater);

spent the night atop an active volcano;

watched lava pour into the ocean from a black sand beach in the middle of the night;

visited another continent;

voted twice in a single election (a local option referendum);

drove a car over 120 miles per hour;

watched a Broadway musical;

smuggled a switchblade through customs;

been a pallbearer;

been a best man;

watched a person bleed to death;

backpacked the entire length of Land Between the Lakes in five days during late June;

flown in a helicopter;

hiked part of the Appalachian Trail;

shaken hands with a president of the United States (twice);

had in my custody $36 million dollars at one time;

cut my finger clear to the bone;

been followed by a stalker (actually three that I know of; two were the ex-husbands of lady-friends; the other was a private detective);

eaten a snail (several snails);

attended a murder trial;

killed a deer with a rifle;

seen the lights of San Francisco from 35 thousand feet at midnight;

crossed three North American continental divides within a four month period (eastern vertical, western vertical and horizontal);

gone skinny dipping with a co-ed group;

stood on the southern most point of the United States;

been issued a subpoena;

visited three national capitals;

appeared on Antiques Roadshow;

witnessed a moonbow over a waterfall at night;

smoked a Cuban cigar (several);

had a hangover;

caught a shark with a rod and reel;

seen a tornado;

piloted a boat through a storm in the Gulf of Mexico;

been in a hurricane;

accidentally started a brushfire (burned approximately 10 to 15 acres of brush);

successfully extinguished a brushfire without the aid of the local fire department (not easy; not recommended);

escaped from the police chasing me;

attended church services in St. Paul’s Cathedral in London;

felt an earthquake;

set off a pipe bomb;

fired a machine gun;

been in a fist fight;

been to the top of the Empire State Building (87th floor observation deck);

dined in a five star restaurant;

smuggled a keg of beer into a drive-in theater;

crossed the English Channel in a hovercraft (twice);

popped a wheelie on a motorcycle;

wrecked a motorcycle;

given a girl an abandoned tombstone as a birthday gift;

purchased a Saturday Night Special with the serial number scratched off (for $10);

hit a deer with a car while traveling at 75 mph at 1 o’clock in the morning;

celebrated my 18th birthday in Paris, France;

been repelling;

attended an opera;

comforted a dog while she was put to sleep;

had my life threatened (by someone who meant it);

given an anonymous tip to the state police (regarding an armed robbery).

I have done all these things. Perhaps some of my life’s adventures are a bit shocking, but I hope that you also found some of them a bit amusing. If you, dear reader, have any extraordinary, unusual, unorthodox, terrific or scandalous life experiences you would like to share, feel free to add a comment.